' Me and my soul ' , part 3
by Thaddeus Hutyra


The other night, a starry one
my soul woke me up at 4 a.m.
' What's the problem '- I asked
while feeling myself half alive
' I think we need to talk '
my soul just said
' What, we need to talk ?
At 4 a'clock night?
Are you crazy, or what? '
This was too much
for my soul
' Hej, don't call me crazy
O.K ?! ' - she reacted angrily
' I'm not some rubbish
you might think I'm '
I tried to calm her down
' No, sure, I don't think so
but ... why are you
waking me up at night ? '
I asked, half sleepy
' I have something serious
to talk about '
' My goodness, what's that ? '
I felt tormented by my own soul
Didn't she know
men needed some sleep?
For her it was so easy
to wake up at any time
to do what she wanted
without asking me
or anyone
whether she could or not
as if she was a queen .
Cleopatra ?!
Elizabeth II ?!
Oh, no! Only not that
old British lady, please !
Not in my body !!
Cleopatra I could stomach
but not the other one !
True to say my soul wasn't
some sort of an old lady.
Her behaviour was one
of a teenager rather
or of a young woman
at the most.
I knew she wasn't really
a woman, neither a teenager
because she was just a soul
but it was nice to think
of her as a woman
than see her as something
what couldn't be seen
Yet it was scare what
she did with me this night
How often is she going to do this ?
My goodness, I wanted to sleep !
Yet she, my tormentor
had to have it her way.
Without asking me
whether I wanted it or not
and sure not.
I just got lightly up
trying not to wake up anyone
and I went to a verandah
overlooking a city
I arrived in a couple of hours earlier .
I lit light on and went to a table
with a bottle of Smirnoff
I knew she hated when I drank vodka
but I really wanted to spite her now
I poured some vodka into my glass
and I drank it fast the Russian way
just at once
I felt my soul jumped off me
at that moment .
She might have found herself
a mile away but as fast
she was back at the table
I felt she had something tough
to talk about
That something hung in the air
ghastly, monstrous .
Something what made me feel
we'll have a serious talk
possibly even a quarrel
I looked out the window
from the splendid verandah
Down there in the downtown
the town was on its sleep as yet
looking shiny, from ten thousands
of multicoloured street lights
Flashing night and blowing wind
just spectacular !
I could see the presidential palace
of Mr Saakashvilli, the president
The cathedral and the Liberty Square
the finest place in Tbilisi
the capital of Georgia .
Yes, I was on holidays
far away from home
in a Christian orthodox country
splendid with everything
from the Black Sea
to the mountains of Caucasus.
In a country where people made
holy signs every time
they passed a church
not once as
Roman Catholic Christians
did but three times
Sometimes it looked funny
especially when young people did it
I knew it will stay forever
in my memory .
I was happy I chose
a hostel in the vicinity
of Mount Mtatsminda
I could now enjoy
the panorama of the town
at night and during day
a splendid one
But this time the beauty of
what I have seen down there
even the Rustaveli Avenue
a representative one
didn't cause euphory in me
What my soul wants from me ?
I was preocupied with the thought
She made a thunderous jump
once again
down to the Liberty Square
and back to the table
Just within seconds
' OK, what do you want '
I asked her
' What I want?
You know what I want! '
She was humorless as well
It began to look serious
because we were bound
to each other
and we couldn't split up
She knew it too
Perhaps this was a reason
she was so peevish
but yes, she could say
the same about me
It began to look impossible
' I don't understand
why are you waking me at night?
What's the problem? '
I asked her
' You do things
without ever asking me
whether I like it or not. '
She answered me
' You think I must consult with you
anything what I'm planning to do? '
' Exactly! I am as much
important, your other part! '
Shit! I thought. She might be right
' But, listen. ' - I objected
' Why must I tell you anything
when you simply know everything. '
' It's not about this ' - she reposted
' I want to feel you appreciate me '
' You think I don't appreciate you?
No, that's just rubbish!
I care for you! I pray to God,
from time to time, of course.
Perhaps I don't go to the Church
as often as others do it
but yes, I try my best to live the way
civilized people do. '
My soul was still unhappy
I felt it quite good
' No, it's not about this '
she repeated again
' What's about then ? '
I asked her again.
' You see, you make a trip
as now for example
but you didn't even bother
of consulting me about this
Do you think it's all right ? '
' Hmm, I don't think
other people do any different
and ... by the way just a few days ago
you left me for a night and a day
without letting me know
So...you can and I can't ?! '
I had it enough, really.
I've already dreamt
about going back to bed
to have two or three hours
of a good sleep yet.
I knew the moment
sunrise will invade
the hostel rooms
at the early morning hours
the tourists will wake up
and make so much noise
a further sleep will be impossible
' Here we are different, my dear soul '
I said, with acerbic tone.
' I think I can live the way
as I've always lived.
You see, I'm an individualist
I don't think I must consult you
of my plans and my decisions. '
My soul was enraged.
' Who dare you to insult me! '
she yelled with a voice
which reverberated throughout
the universe, perhaps to God Himself.
With a voice I could hear only
and nobody else
because she was my
and only my soul.
Nevertheless I was afraid
tourists could wake up
' You see we are two different
entities, thinking so differently
Can we better leave it
for another time?
We can discuss our differences
when we will be better prepared
to confront each other.
Don't you think so ?
I really need some sleep yet. '
She said nothing, just left me
to some dark corner
at one of the hostel rooms
I didn't even know which one
Nodding of disapproval
I went back to my bed
This time the shadows
of the night were dready
I just closed my eyes
with only one wish
to get asleep again
but I knew the differences
between me and my soul
will take new dimensions
in the coming days
and months, and years
I knew we were so different
me and my soul
With this thought
I finally slept
Just slept

' Me and my soul ' , part 3
by Thaddeus Hutyra
e-mail: tadekhutyra@hotmail.com
 Thaddeus Hutyra. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.

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